How to Revolutionize Your Ladylike Behaviour


So I think the idea if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all is one of those many things in that idea of what ladylike behaviour was that we are very polite, that we always make sure there’s décor and we save face and unfortunately what that means is that we don’t say things that we think might be upsetting to another person when really it’s more upsetting to leave them hanging. So I tell the horrific story of being in grade 12 in high school and putting all my books on the floor in front of my locker, scooping up my books and walking all the way down the hallway to my homeroom biology class, only then to have my biology teacher tell me that I had collected my skirt with my books and that my underwear had been showing all the way down the high school hallway. It’s really one of those stories where you say, “why didn’t anyone in the hallway tell me?” Mostly it’s because people were embarrassed for me, for themselves, and it seemed easier not to tell me. So we do this all the time with someone with spinach in their teeth or not telling someone that their performance in a team meeting really left something to be desired or their presentation really wasn’t as good as it could be. So we’ve learned it’s not ladylike to say something uncomfortable and I think we need to change those notions. There’s a new version of ladylike, let’s deliver the message that allows us to get better. Let’s deliver it in a way that’s more kind, more respectful, creates more openness – I think that’s more ladylike, but let’s not pull the punches because then nobody gets any better.

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