Why You Want to Sell from the Friend Zone


So to build a strong relationship you have to get into something that I call “friend category.” From what I believe and what I’ve experienced and what science tells me is that there are about four categories that someone’s primitive brain will put you into: friend-benefit, enemy-predator, somebody to move away from – away from the risk, they very well may see you as a sexual partner… That can be kind of good, but it’s not sexual partner forever it’s sexual partner now so though you’ll get attention it’s maybe not great for sales. If you don’t hit friend, enemy or potential sexual partner with them they are now “indifferent” to you. They’re not hearing anything you say. You could have the best product and service on the planet, but they’re not listening, but they are listening to somebody who has managed to make that trusting connection with them so you’ve got to get into that “friend” category immediately.

So how can you get into that friend category? Well first of all, you can do some of the stuff you might be able to see in my face right now, which is something called the “Duchenne Smile” which means that not only are the corners of the mouth turned up, but the eyes are narrowed so you’re getting little wrinkles here and if I managed to sustain that for more than three seconds you get the sense that it’s good. Now, this is the single that it’s good between you and me because I have eye contact with you right now… You’ve got to do the full Duchenne smile – it’s no good just turning these up. Look, if I just drop the eyes out and just do this, my guess is that you just don’t like me so much anymore, in fact you probably think I’m a little bit creepy an I might actually be going into the predator category for you right now. When you add the eyes back in you get that friend category, not only that, but there’s bigger things in the body language. Is the body language open? Exactly where is it open? It is very different if my hands are open up here, up at head area here than if my hands are open lower down. My guess is that you probably feel more trust with me when you see me like this than when you see me like this  - when my hands are open or slightly closed over the mouth area here. So it’s not just about the face, it’s about the bigger body – That’s how you win trust. Not only with the face, but with the bigger body as well.

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